and we’re back

did you miss me? i missed you.

i come bearing a gift and the promise of more, soon.

first off, the gift: my favorite martini to help remind murmur.com that i exist.

and now, the promises: assuming sick babies get better soon, there should be new images coming your way via flickr, a blog post or 2 on charlotte’s site (because going offline took her offline, too), and a post here with the “snapshots” i took while i was away from you for 46 days. don’t worry, i didn’t record something every day. sometimes not even once a week.

for now, though, i’m off to see if the sick baby might want some turkey or bananas for “lunch”.

Getting over it: more posts on murmur.com

After the initial positive reception and kick-start feeling I received on murmur.com I planned on posting about once a week. I jotted down ideas, I wrote stuff down. I got distracted by Fable 2 and turned that into a murmur post instead of other things I had sitting on my hard drive 50-75% complete.

Then I sort of stopped.

I told myself lots of things to distract me from the truth: I was to busy. I’d get to it tomorrow. It’s not like anyone’s chomping at the bit to read my next article. It’s not like I have some contractual obligation to produce on a weekly basis. I’ve been putting stuff on my blog so that

The truth is, I got a bit scared. I’d been paralyzed by the same thing that keeps me from working on my novel or letting anyone see it. I was so worried that my murmur articles were going to get steadily worse that I’d be laughed off the site, that I stopped posting. I hadn’t fully realized it until this morning. A review of Benjamin Buttons had been sitting on my hard drive for weeks and I hadn’t touched it, telling myself that as long as I got it out before the day before the oscars (because I was going to be watching all 5 best picture nominated films at a local event), it was fine. Then I realized that day was tomorrow and i needed to get it out today. Then I remembered the Chopped review that was even finished-er than the movie review that needed to go out before Top Chef was over next week. I knew I had a problem.

Oddly enough, the voice inside my head that screamed the loudest today was the one saying “Idiot! Never posting is the same as getting kicked off the site, only you’re not doing anything.” Usually it’s the ones going “You’re right. You’re doing the right thing by just pretending it never existed in the first place. Who needs opportunities and good things? Not us!” that are the loudest. I hate them, but what can you do. You don’t control the voices, they control you. Right? Right?!

Ahem.

Anyway, i got the good voices today, and as a result I’ve done a bit of finishing up and posting this evening:

The Curious Review of Benjamin Buttons
Chopped: A Tasty Reduction of Top Chef’s Better Qualities
and also, incase you’re here and somehow missed it:
not-live blogging this week’s grey’s anatomy (also posted today – I’m a machine!)

Tomorrow I’m headed out to the county for that best picture marathon. Sunday brings the Oscars. I was planning on almost-live blogging them as well, but I got a last-minute party invite. Sitting around with a bunch of movie fans, trashing the dresses and the bad speeches while eating and drinking tasty things sounds a bit more fun than hanging out on my couch, flinching while Ryan is forced to be within earshot of the whole thing (not a fan of the awards show, that one). I’m tempted to bring my computer anyway, but i’ll probably just make do with the iPhone and a twitter feed.

Now that I’ve got a bit of non-fiction out of my brain, I hope to turn some focus back on the NaNoNovel and the Great Idea(tm) next week. I’m way behind where I wanted to be when I took a break in December, and I’m not happy about that. Then it’s back to murmuring.

So long as the voices keep it up, so will I.

what’s that sound?

through a convoluted series of events that span almost an entire year and include writing classes and comic book fans, i’ve been invited to participate in a closed beta for an up and coming …um… let’s go with “conversation site.” they define themselves much better and it’s probably better for me to just quote them instead of plagiarize:

Murmur is not a blogging platform. We are not a social networking site. We aren’t your home on the web. We are your soapbox, your flyer on the telephone pole, your crazy man at the bus stop, your pulpit, your reviewer’s seat, your talking head on the TV and your radio show.

got it? anyway, it’s a closed beta which means that while you can’t participate in the site yourself (by creating content or commenting on/rating existing content), you can read what others have written.

including me!

a few days ago i posted something that rumbles around my brain every time i hear that someone intelligent has read and on some level enjoyed twilight. i did my best to keep my utter distaste of the series at a minimum, and it looks like i’ve succeeded. feel free to judge for yourself.

it was so well received that i mustered up enough courage and free time to post another just now. since it’s primarily about how much i enjoy Warcraft, it likely won’t get the same reception as the first. i tried to make it as “approachable” as possible, but in the end, it’s still about warcraft. together though, they paint a pretty accurate picture of what i might bring to the site as a regular contributor, so no regrets.

how fab is all of that? almost a year after saying “i’m going to be a writer when i grow up!” i’m sort of kind of taking a step towards it. granted it’s a beta site and there’s no money involved and at some point anyone will be able to do exactly what i’m doing there, but hey, i’m doing it! even if this experiment ends up not going anywhere for me, it’s been an incredible confidence booster. i’ve always glossed over the praise and encouragement of family and friends because that’s what you do for people you care about. does this mean any praise i’ve given is false? of course not. i have a complete double standard on the concept and do not care. :)

the whole endeavor has been a great learning experience for me. i didn’t expect my writing style to change much from here to there, and even it hasn’t to the overlapping audience, it certainly has inside. i’m analyzing the words i chose more and culling out a large percentage of my rambling (but not all, it’s still got to be me, you know). random lessons from english teachers past have come creeping back in. i don’t want to be arrogant and say i didn’t realize how much better my raw talent could be with a bit of tweaking and purpose, but i think that’s probably the best way to describe it.

see? confidence! yay me!

we interrupt talking about nothing to talk about something trivial

i love this site:

go fug yoursef

the women (the fuggirls) who run the site post pictures of celebrities making horribly, awful choices in terms of fashion and then write very entertaining words about what’s wrong with them. to be fair, when they find something well done (especially if it’s someone they’ve recently bashed), they will also comment. and it is again, very funny. i could never in my wildest dreams hope to accomplish the level of cattiness mixed with just the right amount of not-so-bitchy to make it palatable. it is to the point that when i find something disastrous on a different site, i wonder what they’re going to say about it and hope they find it. usually i’m not disappointed.

the posts waiting in my rss reader today were no exception and were so “classic” that i felt the need to post about them:

randy jackson’s coat
sharon stone managing not to look batshit (see? they’re nice sometimes)
gwen stefani making a bad choice on american idol last night
two crazy-assed model people looking faker than a fake thing (i think this might be my favorite commentary format). other key examples are: here and here

and yes, it’s mean and it’s awful and we could all be doing better things with our time than writing and reading about celebrities, but seriously, this is chocolate covered popcorn for my brain.

you should be reading this blog

i think the reason why i like jesus’ favorite so much is because when she started writing (on a dare from her uber-geek friends), she sounded like me, only with actual talent.  she wrote mostly about what geeks all her friends were, and even though she was mocking you could read the love underneath…or at least i could.  she went away for a while, after the death of her very-loved step-mother, and since then has re-appeared, writing more about how much she loves/misses/grieves over her death.

it’s not right to say that her despair entertains or amuses me, but her ability to articulate her pain and yet somehow make it universal ….connects to something inside of me that makes me want to share it with you.