i do not.

i was going to post this as part of my WIP piece tentatively titled “About 30″ that is a contrast of life at SBC and life at infuz, but this probably shouldn’t wait, so here you go:

10amish:

10pmish

my hair is the color of murky lake water.

when preggers, you are not allowed to dye your hair. the chemicals in the hair dye seep into your scalp and can cause a miscarriage. no fooling. for someone like me, who hates her natural hair color and dyes it about every 4-5 weeks (it grows like a weed even when i’m not taking prenatals or any other vitamin), this is pretty traumatic. my children will not hear “i was in labor with you for 3 days.” it will be “i had to give up sushi and cheese, and dying my hair for 10 months thanks to you!”

so why the murky lake water, color? it turns out they don’t make “so dark and ash blond it looks grey with 40% real-grey” hair coloring. i checked. i tried a few years ago to find a hair dye that was my natural color so i could grow out the dyed stuff and chop it off, but much to my dismay, i found that the hair growing out was made of grey. once it became apparent that no dye matched my color (even without the grey) i abandoned that quest and started making it a color i liked (light reddish blond with non-red highlights). last night, the closest i could find was “dark natural blonde” which it turns out is murky lake water.

the really, really depressing part is that while it’s considerably closer to my natural color that what i had on it before, it’s still richer and more interesting that what’s going to manifest in the coming months.

little stephie better appreciate this.

well, okay, that’s probably a bit harsh. i visited my podiatrist for the first time last night and discovered that one leg is longer than the other. Based on generally observable phenomenon (such as which ankle is more warped, which shoulder is slightly higher than the other) one would assume that my left side is longer.

however, because nothing can ever be normal even when it’s irregular, it’s actually my right side that’s a wee bit longer. based on the extremely controlled test involving pen-marks on some easily located (if you’re a podiatrist) bones in my feet, it looks like almost a half inch longer. when i stand up, the marks are right next to each other. when i sit down? not so much, but again, they symptoms are manifesting like it’s the other leg that’s longer. this is apparently not all that uncommon, and means that somewhere else in my body i’ve got a contrasting kink most likely.

this morning it occurred to me that it might be the fact that i carry purses, messenger bags, backpacks with the uneven weight on my left side. i should probably stop doing that.

the podiatrist laid it all out for me. not wearing heals takes away my symptoms (read:pain), so i could just pick up a heel lift for the height thing and not bother with orthotics (things that would make my misshapen feet walk right, preventing stress on other joints) until i start having pain. then again, i could not have pain until things progress to the point that i’ve worn away at other joints to the point that i’m really in trouble and will look back and say “if only i had gotten orthotics that day.”

health care to the rescue!

it turns out that my heathcare provider’s new philosophy is working in my favor this round. their logic is “we’ll pay for all your preventative care, because it’s cheaper for us and we look like a good guy. but if you get sick, or have any conditions that require maintenance, look out.” so, orthotics (which prevent problems that cause bad things) are free for me.

(healthcare detour)

it’s really stupid. if i get a test as part of a yearly physical, it’s on the house. if i get the exact same test to diagnose something specific? i pay. and since they’re being such generous guys, starting next year if all you ever do is get physicals and nothing’s ever wrong with you ever you don’t have to pay for healthcare. no monthly fee, no visit co-pay. nothing. if something *is* wrong with you, there’s this complicated hierarchy of deductibles and limits that you start tripping up. if you’re perfectly healthy and don’t get into any accidents or anything, it’s a great plan. if you’re a person with some expensive chronic conditions (like, say, my father’s rheumatoid arthritis which requires about $1200 in meds/month), it’s pretty much a wash with the current plans (because he’ll hit that deductible in january, and the max out of pocket by about april). according to the calculator i’ve played around with, someone like me (who has a few random cheap-ish conditions and is planning on having a baby) has about a 60% increase in overall costs. that’s because it’ll take me a while to hit that first “we’re not paying a thing” deductible, and i’ll never hit the cap out of pocket cap, unless of course, something very bad happens to me/mine over the next year.

i understand the argument that some punk kid who thinks he doesn’t need healthcare shouldn’t have to cover my dad’s meds, or my mother-in-law’s chemotheraphy, but it’s a healthcare system designed to benefit the people who don’t need it. and that just seems fundamentally wrong.

(end detour)

so yeah. after all this diagnosis, the dr’s assistant came in and paper-mache’d ballet slippers onto my feet. in 2-3 weeks i’ll get to go shopping again, and hopefully pick up some shoes with a teeny bit of a heel on them again. this is good, because super-flat shoes are hard to find, especially in winter, and i need me some boots.

apparently, the answer is no.

i do not have a broken toe. i do not have a hairline fracture, what i *do* have is arthritis, or the beginnings of it in my right foot. my freaky “one is 9 3/4 sized and one is 9 1/4 sized” feet. turns out that that, coupled with wearing women’s shoes has caused a stress point to develop in my foot that if not attended by a podiatrist will turn into a knee and hip problem as well. more importantly than that, it means NO MORE HEELS. as if didn’t have enough “fun” trying to get my freaky “only shoes with adjustable straps/buckles/ties across the top, please” feet into shoes.

i walk so much better when i’m in heels, but apparently that walk is putting too much stress on one of my toe joints (and by too much i mean “all” which, yeah, is too much) so no more heels, or heels on special/painful occasions.

grrrrrr

you know that scene in every sitcom where the neurotic character goes to the doctor and the doctor is so awed by something that s/he brings in other doctors to look at it? that happened to me today. the nurse practitioner called in my real doctor for a second opinion and when the real doctor started talking about my problem (she knows only because she has it too) they turned me around so they could look at how my feet/ankles line up. apparently something is really impressively off with the way i stand, because there was awe.

i should be happy. i get to go shoe shopping.