dead muse

apparently, my muse is also reading harry potter. i haven’t been able to write a thing since finishing the book. i keep looking for pictures inside my head to write down, but it’s a huge blank. i’ve gone through older outlines and half-started story attempts in the hopes that something will get triggered, but it’s like trying to light a wet fuse. granted, it’s only been a couple of days, but it’s disturbing for her to close up shop so fiercely. usually i can stumble across *something* to trigger a scene, even if i can’t get it down to my satisfaction, but this? there’s no scene. i can almost feel her sitting in the corner of my head, slowly rocking against the wall, refusing to listen to me.

why do i blame the book?

i was already feeling a bit self-conscious about writing thanks to a conversation ryan and i had about it a few days earlier, so i’m sure that’s contributing, but it’s like the plot of this book has blocked everything else. if it was filling my brain with things about the book, it’d be okay, because then i’d just write about them, but it’s not, it’s just stopped the flow.

i’m distracted by the crossroads that she has left the characters. if joss whedon had written harry potter, i wouldn’t be worried, because i trust joss, even when he does very bad things. i don’t trust her, because i don’t know her. i’ll probably elaborate more in a comment (because they don’t show up on the main page), not to the point of being a true spoiler, but just because things inferred from comments can be just as spoilery as actual plot points.

gah! i can’t even finish off a post properly. i’ve spent entirely too long shuffling sentences about, trying to get everything to flow right, but it just won’t end.

sigh. i’m hopeless.