it isn’t father’s day, or his birthday, or the day he died or the funeral or any of those anniversaries that flatten my resistance to the absence of my father. it’s june 21, december 21, and my birthday.
last year it smacked me in the face when my dad didn’t call at 10:50 in the morning to wish me a happy birthday. this year when the summer solstice came around and he wasn’t there to whine about the days getting shorter, i tried to prepare myself for today and this morning. i thought i’d buffered myself enough that today wouldn’t be so rough, but as other greetings come in and the clock slowly ticks towards the moment he would have called, i’m finding it hard to keep myself distracted.
is it selfish of me to bring you all down with me? probably, but it’s my birthday and i’ll do what i want, so :p